On Timidity

I am a painfully shy person. I have to muster all my courage to go to Confession, and I shake like a terrified little puppy the whole time. Same for many other routine situations in my life, like babysitting my cousins, giving talks at youth group, and training new employees.

I recently found out that Fr is saying daily Mass at my church on Thursdays, which I have off work. So this morning I set off on foot, enjoying the beautiful spring weather and looking forward to receiving the Eucharist.

Then a terrifying thought struck me - what if no one else showed up? After all, attendance at daily Masses can be quite sparse. What if it were just Fr and me there?? I got so scared I almost turned around right before the church and walked back home! But instead I prayed that I wouldn't be the only one, took a breath, and went in.

I was not disappointed. Not only was I not the only lay person there, but a good-sized group was standing in the lobby talking with Fr. I slinked up and was warmly welcomed by a nice old lady :) As we talked even more folks trickled in!

I realized long ago that fighting my timidity is a vain endevor. My personality is not going to change. But more and more I'm realizing that with God's grace I can just do what needs done regardless of my fear, and He will bless my meager efforts.

Thanks be to God!